26 things NOT to do at Muggle school
by Maeve-Juniper
Summary: Having been a Squib raised in the wizarding world her whole life, Elizabeth Lawson has made a list of things that she may or may not have done at Muggle school that maybe she should not have. OC from: My Brother's Keeper. Turned into drabbles thanks to advice from That One Eccedentesiast
1. Chapter 1

**Although the first chapter is given in list form, the following chapters will be scenarios in which Elizabeth has actually done these things, but would probably never admit to.**

1\. Accidentally call other students Muggles

2\. Ask if there is a house cup according to grade levels

3\. Ask how to get house points for said cup

4\. Ask how teams are divided if there are no houses

5\. Tap paintings when you think no one else is around, somewhat expecting they'll start moving

6\. Assume that there are dungeons

7\. Ask teachers if there are classes in said dungeons

8\. Ask what punishments the caretaker will give out to misbehaving students

9\. Assume that there is a cat who will tell administration if they see anyone breaking the rules

10\. Bang a calculator around until it starts working

11\. Ask other students exactly how to play every recess game

12\. Subtly ask if there, hypothetically, would be a rule against students using a lucky potion before writing any tests.

13\. Call any form of test or exam an OWL or NEWT

14\. Subtly ask if there, hypothetically, would be a rule against students using invisibility cloaks to see exams as teachers are making them up

15\. Assume that there is a class to take care of ordinary creatures

16\. Assume that there is a class on Ancient Runes, as technically Muggles are allowed to see them

17\. Use Exploding Snaps just to see what the reactions would be

18\. Give other students the worst kinds of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans just to see what the reactions would be

19\. Assume all other students would also read the newspaper

20\. Assume that all other students would have an interest in the politics of the Muggle world

21\. Openly state that a resistance group would probably solve all of the Muggle world's problems

22\. Ask students who exactly in the school is considered the most intelligent one of their age

23\. Try implying that any other student is not quite as bright having grown up in the Muggle world

24\. Or speaking to them more slowly because of it

25\. Ask why there is no choir featuring frogs

26\. Accidentally make references to Harry Potter or any other famous wizard

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**A/N:**

**I do suggest reading My Brother's Keeper along with this but it's not required or anything. Also please review, I'll give you lots of internet hugs and cookies! Sorry if anything sticks out as particularly non-British, I am a mere Canadian who tries hard and makes Google my friend.**


	2. 1 Accidentally Call Students Muggles

_1\. Accidentally call other Students Muggles (chapter title in menu shortened to fit)_

* * *

She could not really be blamed for this one. Okay, maybe she could take some responsibility, but would you really blame her, when she had been raised in the wizarding world her whole life? Yes she had always been warned to be careful around Muggles, and she had most definitely been warned by her mum the morning of the first day of school, but it wasn't like she'd ever spent much time around them. She never got any real practice.

The first day of school had started out fine, but only got progressively worse from there.

Already Elizabeth, who more commonly goes by Libby, was in a sour mood. Being eleven she expected her first day of classes would be at Hogwarts, not a random Muggle public school her parents had picked out for her in Birmingham.

The other students seemed to have friends already, leaving Libby entirely isolated from them.

This had also given her a great opportunity to day dream, as she chose a seat close to the window.

It was when the teacher called on Libby that she forgot herself, momentarily, as he abruptly commanded her "Elizabeth, could you introduce yourself to the class?"

Of course Libby knew that this was not a real question, she knew probably better than any of her peers that teachers were to be listened to and respected. Especially the way they whispered to each other while he was talking. Really, they weren't making any good impressions, not that they believed they had to.

So Libby stepped forward in front of her entire class, not exactly nervous as she didn't consider speaking in front of a bunch of Muggles to be all that intimidating. "Hello everyone, I'm Elizabeth Lawson but most people just call me Libby. I used to be home-schooled, and with my brother at that, so I'm not exactly used to having Muggle classmates-"

It was just at the moment that Libby actually, literally called them that to their faces that she had immediately recognized her mistake. She was not supposed to say the Muggle part out loud! Before she was even given strange looks her cheeks turned pink and she continued as confidently as she could, now actually feeling some pressure. "Sorry about that, slip of the tongue. Anyways..."

And she continued normally after that, the strange looks disappearing. Of course afterwords three girls approached her, now more interested in the new girl.

"What was that you called us?"

"What does it mean?"

"Was it an insult? Because Mr. Smith sure didn't know what to make of it"

They had a barrage of words flowing through their mouth and Libby couldn't help but be pleased. At least her mess up had gotten her somewhere.

That, and a pointed lecture after class from Mr. Smith on what exactly is appropriate language in class.


	3. Rules 2, 3 and 4

_2\. Ask if there is a house cup according to grade levels 3. Ask how to get house points for said cup 4. Ask how teams are divided if there are no houses_

* * *

It all happened in a whirl wind and Libby should have had a bit more common sense this time. But then again she'd always been a rather blunt girl, around her peers she didn't feel the need for a filter. The only people she tried to behave more properly around would be teachers, her parents, authority... really anyone significantly older she felt naturally should be shown some modicum of respect and actually made an effort to watch her mouth around.

So since PE was their next class Libby tried to tag along with the three girls that had approached her right when the bell rang, they were already a long way down the hall, since she had to have a chat with Mr. Smith after class of course they would have gotten far ahead of her.

When she caught up was when she made the mistake of opening her big fat gob.

"So in PE class, how will the lot of us be divvied up?" You ask conversationally.

They give each other odd looks at what Libby said and one of them, the closest to her with short brown messy hair with bangs that went right into her eyes, spoke up "What do you mean by 'divvied up'?"

"You know, for football and all that. I imagine that everyone already has a side, so how will I be grouped? There must be an uneven number so hopefully it will be simple." Libby muses.

Yet again the girls seem a bit confused by what Libby said. "Er... the teacher just picks team captains and they choose who they want on their team."

"Oh..well..." Libby said without completing her sentence.

After having changed into their gym clothes and getting out onto the school field, the teacher begins talking about the rules and regulations while in her class. She had asked anyone if they had any questions, and of course Libby couldn't help asking.

"So I suppose there is a sort of cup awarded to one grade at the end of the year, and our performances in this class can add points towards gaining it?"

"Uh... what?"

"Is she bonkers?" One girl whispered.

"Sounds right mad."

"Bloody transfers, I swear."

With hushed words many of them judged Libby for her odd questions and the teacher seemed too confused to really notice. "You're.. Libby, correct?"

Libby nods.

"Well if I understand you correctly, no there is no 'cup' making any the grades compete for it and no, there are no points. Though I would like you all to try your best still."

Then she tells everyone to quiet down and business goes along like usual, except Libby gets the distinct feeling that all the muggles must think she's an alien now.

It seemed a bit on the mark.


	4. 5 Tap Painting

_5\. Tap paintings when you think no one else is around_

* * *

It was just _staring_ at Libby.

She couldn't help but think it was odd, the way the figures in the painting just stood there, motionless, captured in freeze-frame. The only paintings she had ever known, the ones that used to adorn the walls of her old house, were _alive_. With wisdom, mischief and often times a corny joke but always, _always_ with gossip.

This one before her, the king of some important time period or another, possibly the Industrial Revolution which wizards didn't really care about, but the eyes still held something that Libby was familiar with. They screamed to conquer and instill respect, which was a little creepy coming from an inanimate paint.

Libby had caught sight of it on the way to history class and slowed as she came closer, until most students had already made it to their next classes and she, Libby, was one of the only people in the halls. Carefully, she inched closer...

and closer...

Now she was right in front of it and feeling apprehensive, what if her just touching it made it _move?_

The thought may have been silly but in the moment that didn't come to Libby's mind, or even the fact that she, as a Squib, would never even be able to do something like that.

Now that she was closer she could more easily make out the smears of paint making it look less like a realistic person but Libby didn't care because it was still a painting and any moment it could all of a sudden just _speak_ to her.

And what if it did, right in the middle of a Muggle school hallway?

"I-if I can, say, make you move, please don't say anything or else we'll _both_ be in huge trouble... well, you less so but the Muggles might try and contain you someplace where _no other paintings are_ so if I were you I would keep quiet and-"

Libby poked the painting.

The king stayed in his regal pose.

Sighing, Libby was both relieved and disappointed.

"Uh, Libby?" Someone said, and from the sound alone Libby tensed, as they were in closer proximity than she was comfortable with. Whipping around she found that the voice belonged to one of the girls that had spoken to her in the first class of the day, one of the ones she thought she could be friends with. Well, Libby thought, she could kiss that possibility goodbye.

"Er... yes?"

"What're you doing?"

"Well I was just looking at this painting you see-"

She looks a bit puzzled but shakes her head and interrupts. "Nevermind, you're late to class and I volunteered to come get you, we all figured you got lost,"

"Oh, well, I-I was! Then I got distracted..."

The girl grabbed Libby's wrist and pulled her along to history class, the whole time Libby looks back to see if, perhaps, the king had been pretending he couldn't move the whole time and was just waiting for her to leave.

"Did you use the word Muggle again while talking to the painting?"

Well, she saw the whole thing then.

"No,"

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**A/N:**

**Hello everyone, thanks for reading another chapter and I would REALLY appreciate if you reviewed! Reviews are love and EVERY author on the site loves getting them, whether they only ever received 2 or 200! If you like it so far than I'm really glad and if you haven't than...sorry, I suppose? Anyways I'd really like to hear about what parts you guys liked best and what scenarios you think should involve the other points on the list!**

**Thanks to: fold my love, LadyLazuras, and That One Eccedentesiast for reviewing so far!**


	5. Rules 6 and 7

_6\. Assume that there are dungeons 7. Ask teachers if there are classes in said dungeons_

* * *

This time Libby had been more careful with how she spoke in class. Instead of blurting out any random thing, she decided to stay quiet for the majority of the hour while this teacher, Miss Cartwright, droned on about this and that. It wasn't that she was necessarily boring, per se, but rather Libby had no idea what she was talking about half of the time. She supposed it had something to do with some historical figures and what not and seemed a little interesting at first until the lesson began to drag on.

She sat beside the girl who had found in her in the halls, the one with the messy hair hair and bangs going into her eyes. Every once in awhile she would puff up her bangs with her breath so that it would get out of her eyes, revealing chocolate brown irises, but then it would just go straight back to where it wasn't supposed to.

When Miss Cartwright finally took a break from talking and told everyone to open their books to read from page three-hundred-ninety-four Libby finally saw the opportunity to casually get acquainted with her potential new friend.

"So I'm Libby," Libby says as coolly as she could muster, flipping her textbook open to the proper name. "I must seem a little bonkers already. What's your name?"

"Erica," She answers, drawing her own book open to the correct page. "Don't worry so much about that, most everyone accredits your strangeness to your being home-schooled,"

"Oh, yes! It's much different than state school..." Libby agreed, feeling more relaxed now that her crazy behaviour was being associated with home schooling. Though Libby was hoping that Erica would tell her that no one thought she was odd at all.

"I'd imagine. Which reminds me, myself and some friends were theorizing a bit about what Muggle could mean, since Mr. Smith pulled you aside before we could get some answers. Is it what home-schooler's refer to state school kids as? Like some sort of code lingo?"

"That's clever. I mean, you all must be really clever to have decoded that so quickly! I suppose it must have been a bit obvious... sorry about that, us... home-schooler's, we're a bit odd how we talk about things. Like we're from a whole different world. Well, like I said being here is much different if that makes any sense," Libby felt as if she were rambling a bit, but Erica was nodding along to everything she said so it must have been fine.

Talking to Muggles wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Then Miss Cartwright got up from her chair behind the desk to ask questions about the readings, thankfully never calling upon Libby as she hadn't read a single word. Once the bell rang Libby stored her books into her bag, feeling a little more accomplished than she had been walking in. Someone tapped her shoulder, and upon turning around she had found Erica with a broad smile on her face and momentarily with her hair out of her eyes.

"It's lunch break now, do you want to spend it with me and my friends?"

Libby couldn't help but take on her own broad smile, nodding at Erica with plenty of enthusiasm. As she was about to follow Erica out the door, however, something popped into her head. She hadn't actually seen any staircases leading to the lower levels yet, and she had assumed that there would perhaps be a class in their dungeons to make use of the space. She had to get this confirmed from a teacher though, as she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of her classmates again.

"Could you wait outside of class for me, please? I have to speak with Miss Cartwright for a minute," Libby requested.

"Oh, sure. Be quick though," Erica allowed, departing from the classroom.

When most of the students had filed out of the room to the point that it was only the history teacher and Libby, the latter approached the desk trying to hide as much of her nerves as she could. "Um, Miss Cartwright?"

She seemed distracted by a file laying out before her. "Yes, Miss..." She looked up for a moment, squinting her eyes at the new face of a student. "Lawson, is it?"

"Yes Miss Cartwright, that's me. I was wondering, since I haven't seen any stairs leading to the lower floors so far, if there is a dungeon? Also are there any classes held in there? I wouldn't want to assume there weren't if-"

"Wait, hold on," Miss Cartwright was now fully paying attention to Libby, her eyes narrowed and appearing confused. She swiveled her chair a bit to better face Libby. "Why on earth would we have a dungeon, Miss Lawson? This is not the Dark Ages, we are nearing the twenty-first century!"

"I...suppose? Though I don't really see what the Dark Ages or any of that has to do with anything..." Now Miss Cartwright had given something for Libby to think about. "Miss Cartwright, why would it matter if we were in the Dark Ages or not? I'm sure that doesn't change buildings too much. They're still made out of stone and wood, after all,"

"Miss Lawson, this must be the most bizarre questioning that I have ever gotten from anyone your age, especially in a time where technology has run so rampant that I see less and less children coming out to play, choosing to stay inside and watch television all they like instead. Most children _expect _altercations. Oh I don't suppose you'd notice anyways growing up in this time... run along now, okay? You are wasting your lunch break,"

"...Alright, Miss Cartwright," Libby agreed, racing out of the class now that her questions were satisfied.

For a moment Libby thought Miss Cartwright might just be as bonkers as she is.

* * *

**A/N**

**Sorry guys this became a little long, especially since I sort of got Libby to ask even more questions lol she is a very curious girl with basically no boundaries :P Anyways, if you like this chapter or any of the others please do review! Ciao for now :)**


	6. Rules 7 and 8

_8\. Ask what punishments the caretaker will give out to misbehaving students 9. Assume that there is a cat who will tell administration if they see anyone breaking the rules_

* * *

Exiting history class, Libby had come nearly face-to-face with the one person that she had been avoiding to see.

The caretaker.

It seemed that her secondary school had a female in place for the job, a stout woman, her dark hair tied up in a low ponytail, cheeks sagging and eyes sunken. She seemed a lot less vindictive in comparison to the expectations Libby had, only having the stories of Mr. Filch to compare the personality of a caretaker to. Then again, he was also her only expectations for a Squib as well, so maybe having no expectations at all was best.

No, the best way to describe the person standing a few feet from her was that she portrayed defeat.

The length of time that Libby had stared was about thirty seconds before that one girl, Erica, descended upon her.

"Hello, are you ready to go?" She asked pleasantly.

"Uh..." Libby said distractedly, then after a moment's hesitation began nodding. "Yeah, okay,"

While the two strolled away Libby kept looking over her shoulder at the woman, unable to occupy her mind with anything else but the image of the hunched elder burned into the young girl's head. This woman can't take care of a whole school by herself, Libby figured she had to have a cat or something helping. Although she heard that cat's behaved differently to Muggle's, that they did not demonstrate their intellect as much, this information hadn't really thrown her from that line of thinking. Cats had to still be at least somewhat useful to Muggle's or else there would be no use keeping them around apart from amusement. Phillip, Libby's own cat, was quite useful in sensing things for Libby, when they were together she felt as if he were her partner in crime.

"That woman back there... she's the caretaker, right?" Erica quickly glances over and turns back, nodding. "Well, if we get into trouble... what would she do?"

Erica furrowed her brows, confused. "What do you mean?"

Libby was already starting to feel embarrassed, getting the feeling that she was saying something out of the ordinary again. Or, at least out of the _Muggle_ ordinary. "Well, I mean punishments, I suppose. Like detention or something," Libby said, trying to shrug off her question as if it were not strange at all.

"I haven't seen that happen before, so I'm guessing not. Though they might tell teachers or the principle if they see a student misbehaving, most of the time they are very quiet about everything,"

That seemed to be the exact opposite of Mr. Filtch, Hogwart's caretaker, who by the descriptions of her family went out of his way to thwart students in whatever they were scheming. Still, there was a possibility that a cat was around here, and warned the caretaker of whenever trouble was afoot, if anything. Otherwise it seemed unlikely, or at least incredibly difficult for her there to be one person in charge of taking care of a school, though Hogwarts being a castle with only one Squib and cat looking after it was an amazing feat in itself and this was one, minuscule school in comparison.

but thinking about it would do her no good in the friends department, so Libby allowed the thoughts to leave her mind peacefully.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Haven't updated this in awhile, and I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to juggle this series with a few other, longer fics that I have and since this is a shorter, silly piece I figure I can let it stew a little longer while working on other things, but even then those don't get updated often :( I'll be finishing high school in June and taking a gap-year, so for anyone who reads my other stories this is pretty good news and means I'll have A LOT more time to write! **

**Thanks to NightmarePrince for reviewing last chapter :)**


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